There are certain things you should do when visiting major cultural cities in the world. Go and see all the landmarks, eat out at the finest restaurants, try the local delicacies…ah yes try out the local delicacies. This I have done in many places. Some I have enjoyed others not. Here is an example of what not to do in Amsterdam.
I arrived in Amsterdam early in the morning some years back with my fellow traveling companion. A quick check at the local tourist office in Central Station and we were off to the Flying Pig hostel. It was cheap and cheerful at only eight guilders a night. I must say that the sight of so many bicycles was a bit unnerving as we trapezed across the city in search of our destination. It is not the cars you must look out for in Amsterdam but the lunatic cyclists as they speed about on their way.
Finding the Flying Pig was easy, getting checked in not so simple. We were told to come back at noon to check in. So leaving our bags at reception, well a desk at the bar, we set off to explore.
It was 10.15am.
In our innocence we went into a cafe, which was only a couple of hundred yards from the hostel and immediately ordered two of the ‘cigarettes’ that Amsterdam is famous for. A mistake of monumental proportions.
It was 10.18am.
My legs were the first to loose all sensation before my brain melted into marshmallow. It was to say the least disconcerting. Conversation ceased and was not continued until two days later. We left the cafe with great difficulty and tried to navigate our way back to the hostel. I have a distinct memory of holding onto the walls as we stumbled on.
We found refuge and tried to check in again only to be told to come back at noon by a worried looking receptionist. I glanced at the clock and was stunned to see that it was only 10.35am.
We collapsed into the nearest chairs and in a sort of paranoia wondered if we were going to be arrested. My memories are confused and distorted of this surreal time. The pool table in front of me at times seemed to shimmer and at other times seemed to float in the air.
Noon.
Check in was a nightmare. We had to sign in. I couldn’t spell my name. The receptionist took pity and opening our passports did all the work for us. The room slept eight people. Paranoia again. We were going to be robbed and raped! Somehow we got through the day only to purchase some more of the Amsterdam ‘Cigarettes’ that night. Same result. We had a blast but I would not recommend it. See the city before you indulge.
We went to the Reichsmuseum on our second day to see the Van Gogh exhibition. The museum is one of the largest in Europe with hundreds of rooms. But in our addled state we wandered around the same five rooms before leaving in frustration and the need for another smoke just to straighten ourselves up.
Again I will say it. Do not indulge until you see the city first. Mind you it is a good excuse to go back again.
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